Why Animals are Nudists

I think I’ve finally figured out why animals are dedicated lifelong nudists.  It’s all because of Halloween.

Every year, I get half a dozen emails full of cutesy-pie pictures of pets dressed up for Trick or Treat.  They always look as if they’re going through a harrowing ordeal.  The whole thing may make their people very happy, but can anybody doubt that it’s the supreme indignity for these furry little folks?

Where the heck is PETA when you need them? This little kitty-witch needs to be liberated from its oppression!

Every year, I think about getting costumes for my dog and four cats.  And to tell the truth, the reason I don’t do it is not because I’m kind or humane.  It’s the same reason I think about taking them to see Santa Claus at Petsmart but rule against it year after year.  It would be a gigantic pain in the butt.

They would stage a very rowdy rebellion.  And I don’t guess I can blame them.

Our pets do love us very much.  They must.  Why else would they allow us to do things like this to them, simply for our own amusement?

They don’t know who Santa Claus is.  To them, he’s just a big, scary dude in a red suit.  They don’t understand Halloween, either.  I ask you…does this dog look happy?

Mister Huggins, my black cat, looks just like a Halloween ornament.  I keep trying to get him to sit in the front bay window on Halloween just for effect.  Because to him, it’s just another night, he never cooperates.  I was thinking of dressing him up like a bee, because he’d make such a CUTE one.  But he probably wouldn’t cooperate with that, either.

They are our adorable little furry children, so I must admit I like looking at pictures like these.  But think of the animals! THINK of them! Oh, the humanity!

Really, this post was just an excuse for me to put up some of those ultra-adorable pictures.  But at least they’re pictures of other people’s pets.  I wouldn’t really do that to my own.

George, my dog, looks good in a tiara.  A friend gave me a great one — with a little picture of Snow White on it, and a great, big jewel in the center that flashes when you press on it.  But I won’t make George wear it this Halloween.  I don’t want to give him any gender issues.

Come Halloween night, my own little children will be dressed as nudists.  It’s all they really want to be.


About heine911

I'm an Episcopalian, Classical Liberal Ladies' Woman, helping to save Western civilization, searching for the perfect wife and enjoying every minute of it all.
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One Response to Why Animals are Nudists

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